Things That Fizzle And Pop

It's late and I should definitely be in bed, but I haven't written in a while and I miss it.  Lucky you! (whoever you are...) 

The last several days have proved to be very interesting. Never a dull moment here. No, not one. Please don't be surprised when this thing turns out to be all about my personal relations (or lack thereof). They say write what you know, and I'm not exactly sure who "they" are. But I know me. And there is so much humor in my relationally nonexistent life that I just feel the need to share. Also, maybe I'm just trying to get it all out so I don't burst. Either way, let's get to the good stuff. 

An ex who isn't really an ex but who I wish was an ex and sort of refer to as an ex but not really is on The Match. Surely you followed all of that? If not, I'll try again. There's this dude on there that I almost sort of dated. Well, let me just be honest. I can be honest here, right? He was after that one thing that every mother and grandmother on tv warned you about. That "one" thing. And me, well I'm not into that. Its just not me.  Not a casual dater. This issue will come up later on. Trust me. 

So he's on The Match and viewed my profile and all. I freaked. I literally was pacing all around my room and gasping for air. Then I called C.  She laughed. Eventually, I did too. But I had to have a moment. I just felt so violated. I didn't want him looking at my profile. Not his business. Yes, again, I realize this is what the whole site is for, but that's not the point. The point is, I was embarrassed and a little mad.  Nothing prepares you for seeing someone like that on there. 

On a more positive note, I participated in an email conversation with a pretty cute fitness trainer (what?!). It was basically all about food and cooking. Something that we both enjoy. Then the small talk banter began, and I suppose it all just fizzled. The last reply I received was "cool". What is it with men and those one word replies? From that point, I did the terrible, awful of assuming the conversation was finished. Obviously, I was right to do that. 

Between all of the winks and emails, I've realized that I don't lack people who are "interested" in me. The issue seems to be me. And I'm still trying to figure me out.

Chin up buttercup. Good things are on the way. I'm not sure how far down the line they are, but they're coming. And until then, there will be plenty of laughs to get me through. 

X

Conversational Cat Lady 

Putting It Out There

I did it. The unspoken, terrible, awful thing. The thing I said was creepy and weird. Ahh...can I admit it? Write it down for all to see? Surely you'll understand. Or at least be able to see from my point of view. You don't have to walk around in my shoes, but at the very least, slide them on and see how they feel.

You see this little guy ;) He's a wink. Yes, I admit it. I virtually winked at someone on 'The Match'. I myself can't believe that I actually went through with it. It happened so fast that I didn't even allow myself to think about it. And when I did realize what I'd actually done, I felt a little like a rock star. Dramatic. I know. This, however, is a huge step for me. I'm not a 'put yourself out there' kind of girl. I'm shy and quiet and all those nerdy girl things. I'm awkward. That's what I have going for me. Pure weirdness. 

Don't get me wrong, I love myself. I think I'm funny and smart, etc., etc. I'm just a little different and that's okay. So, I'm alone and really just want a little cat for some company. That's cool. Don't confuse alone with lonely. This girl isn't lonely. I have friends and family and books and words. Life is good. 

As great as this life is, sometimes it drives me to the edge. My edge is apparently virtual winks. What do I have to lose? 

;)

x

Winking Cat Lady 

My Life According To E-Cards

This is me. Totally and completely. I'm trying my best to finish Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness. I am quite confident that I will succeed tonight. Only a hundred or so pages to go. 

Sure, it won't pay your bills or fix the issue of world hunger, but a nap can conquer a whole list of other evils. You don't feel like doing laundry? Nap. You've had a long day at work? Nap. Your eyes are burning from gazing at the computer all day? Nap. 

 My sister is eight years younger than me, and growing up we hardly ever saw eye to eye. She thew a knife at me once (thankfully, she missed) and locked herself in her bedroom when I was babysitting her (I had to take the knob off). And sure, we still have our spats, but she is my sister. I love her and she has my heart. She also probably knows your secrets, too.

Can you find a tune more soothing? Admit it, you're singing this to yourself now. If you're like me, you're also probably wishing it was time for a new season of The Big Bang. What is it they say? Keep calm and sing Soft Kitty. 

Ah, yes. This is when I realized I was probably more of a cat person than I would otherwise ever want to admit. Thanks Pinterest. 

Open mouth, insert overly inappropriate comment. Yes, I tend to have an issue of speaking and not always thinking. There are times when I am as surprised as everyone else by the things that I actually say. I've also discovered that the older people get, the less they hold back. Hello, over-sharers. 

X

Unlikely Cat Lady

Another Day, Another Donut

This day started off wonderful. No, no. This day started out magnificent. Here's why...

So a creme filled donut later, I really thought the day couldn't get any better. Honestly, pastries pretty much make for an amazing day. I know I sound like a fat kid, but if you are really sitting on the other side of this screen judging me, there's the door. Or the "X" on the top right corner. However, I seriously doubt many people would question this statement. Pastries are tasty. The end.

And as amazing as the above mentioned sweets are, the day did in fact get better. (Yes, I said better). C and I planned a beach trip! Sure it's just for a few days, but it's the beach. And it's only in a couple of weeks. We are sure to have a wonderful and amazing time. C's sister is sort of doubtful at the "fun" we may get into. What with all my reading books and tea drinking. It could get out of control. I mean, there could be some ice thrown in there with a little bit of sugar. I've been known to get pretty crazy when on vacation. I've already warned you: Grandma...Guidepost. That stuff gets wild. 

C's sister also sent a Facebook warning out to all the men of PC. "Get ready to be ignored and rejected, " she said. All I could do was laugh. She knows us too well. To have the terribly raunchy sense of humor that we both possess, we can be extremely prude. I also seem to have pretty high standards these days. I suppose that's how all of this cat business got started. 

Like all women (and I'm saying "all" here to make myself feel better), I have melt downs sometimes. Not like the ice cream is so melted that it's forever ruined. I would relay it more to the consistency of frozen yogurt. Really squishy. Yeah, I get emotionally squishy and soft. I go all "poor, pitiful me", have a little talk with the Lord, and then move on. I'm fine. Completely okay. Then I get on Facebook. Wouldn't you know Sally Jane is engaged. Susie May just got married. Let's not forget Sarah Jo, she's having a baby. This is not really the place you want to be emotionally when you've already found a neat way to hide your imaginary cat's liter box (thank you Pinterest). 

However, I'm sure Prince Charming is just on a detour. You know men, always getting lost. Then again, maybe he's at the animal shelter just waiting on me to adopt him. Okay, that was a lie. I really think my imaginary cat is a girl. There are way cuter name choices, and I just might be able to convince her to wear a bow in her hair. Now that would be the cat's meow. 

x

More Than Likely Cat Lady 

Imaginary Cat

Today I confessed to L.A. (a co-worker and friend) that out of all the relationships that others around me seemed to have, all I had is an imaginary cat. And by relationship, I mean a romantic one. I now realize that it sounds like I said I have an imaginary, romantic relationship with a cat, and that is completely not what I mean. Follow along and let me rephrase. People all around me are in romantic relations, and I sort of wish I at least had a cat. I'm not even a cat person...hence the title "unlikely cat lady." But the more I think of it, the more I think I could handle one of those really fluffy ones. 

Until that fateful day when I do in fact become a cat owner, I will spend my down time thinking of cute and creative names. Also, I'll be reading. A lot. 

x

Gradually Becoming More Of A Cat Lady

P.S.

I'm currently reading Shadow Of The Night by Deborah Harkness.

The Lost Art of Communication

Note** This is not a "man-hating" blog, however, this post may sway toward my belief that women are the superior gender. Then again, maybe we just like to talk. A lot. And about everything. 

Another eventful day at the law office of J. Peters. By the way, that's where I work. I'm a legal secretary. 

The day started off on the subject of whipped topping and bubble wrap and ended somewhere after this thoughtful question, "Did you see how big our thing was?"  I'm sure I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes. We are crazy. 

But the real fun for me today happened when I was returning this afternoon with lunch. I was bent over with my best side and behind stuck up in the air attempting to not spill my jumbo sized sweet tea, all the while balancing a couple of take out plates. My co-worker was on the other side doing the exact same thing. Let's just say, I have a little more junk than she does. Trunk junk that is. So here I am bent over on Main Street and I hear something that is sort of unfamiliar. Mentally, I question it but go back to what I was doing. You know, the important task of not spilling the tea. But I hear it again and instantly turn around. Two gentleman, and I use that term sparingly, are honking at me, and they have the silliest grins plastered on their faces. 

It was not flattering by any means, but it was definitely laughable. That lovely event stirred up the topic of conversation, or what my lady friends would call a failure of communication. It seems to be a lost art. As an example, I will use my friend. She's back on the dating scene again and let me tell ya folks, she's a catch. So she meets this guy through a mutual friend. He's several years older than her so we're thinking this will work out. They talk a few times on the phone and he even texts her some. Then they went out. There were no fireworks or parades or really anything spectacular about their evening. It was one of those situations where you really just want to forget it ever happened. So, she is ready to move on. No hard feelings. No emotional break downs. 

Three days elapse and he sends her a text message. "Sup". That's what he sent her. He is a grown man. After being okay with never speaking to him again, she receives this message and is quite furious. Not only is she reminded of the awkward evening they shared, but he has allowed this much time to go by with no communication, and this is what she gets. "Sup." After hearing no response from her, he send another message expressing his concern for her well being (again...three days later). Then he calls. Obviously this guy doesn't understand rejection. 

I myself have had my fair share of a lack of proper communication. There was one guy in particular who was pretty fond of "Hey". That was his signature line. "Hey." Honestly, "hey" is not a conversation starter. Quite frankly after that one horrible experience, "hey" in general just pisses me off. Be funny. Be unique. Be different. Don't be "hey". And if you've read my previous post, you will know I am the proud account holder of an online dating site. There I have received some terribly poor attempts at communication. There are misspelled words and practically no correct grammar usage at all. There is no punctuation or too much in the wrong place at the wrong time. Oh, you don't understand what I mean when I say all of that? Let me show you. This is an e-mail I received from a fellow single person prowling for love, or something like it, online:

"so what brings u to the match lolu is cuute"

No, unfortunately, I did not make this up. I honest to goodness received that and was forced to yet again block someone from further communication. My sweet co-workers had this to say to me in regards to all of my people blocking: In a couple of months, you will go to search your matches and see a message that says, "I'm sorry. You have no matches." They are probably right. 

Maybe I'm a little nuts when it comes to words, but I love them. And maybe that's why I'll end up with a cat. They can't talk. 

Today I'll be sending you off with a personal favorite quote of ours at the office:

Use your words ;)

x

Unlikely Cat Lady 

I'm Really Not The Cat's Pajamas

It all started as a joke. Then curiosity struck. That was followed by complete and utter fascination. I'm referring to the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thing called online match making sites. Yes, I was sucked in. Better yet, my sweet friend dragged me there and dropped me off. Then and there I was swept away into the mysterious meat market that is the world wide web. 

With my profile in full swing, I was absolutely terrified of what awaited me on the other side of my log in screen. Would I have no suitors? Would absolutely no one be the least bit interested? Okay, so my profile description sounds a bit like a grandma. More literally like I'm sitting in my rocker and reading Guidepost magazine...but I honestly can't help that I like to read and drink hot tea (Note** not always at the same time. I like them both equally and separately). What was I supposed to put? A bunch of stuff that I will have to explain later when they turn out to be oh so untrue? No, I don't think so. The truth may not be glamorous and exotic, but it sure beats a lie any day. 

Finally, I am logged in. My profile has been viewed numerous times. It has been viewed more times than I thought were necessary. This profile has been viewed so many times that I was feeling anxious and uncomfortable. Who were all of these people? I kept saying over and over to myself, "I don't know you. I really don't know you. Why are you looking at my profile?" To say the least, I was freaked out. And I'm sure you're thinking, "Duh, that's how this thing works. You meet people you don't already know and would otherwise probably never meet." And yes, I was completely aware of that fact, but nothing prepared me for it. 

There were the winks. Virtual winks. Those have to be the creepiest and strangest form of communication I've ever encountered. "Hey, there's a pretty good looking girl. I think I'll send a virtual wink her way. That will strike her fancy." Um, no sir. Not at all. 

Then there were e-mails. Keep in mind, these are from complete strangers. People I have never in my life had any kind of conversation with. I had phone numbers and invitations to "dine" with them at the restaurant of my choice or enjoy a "film" that I too would be able to choose. Again, no thanks. I don't know you. 

Needless to say, I blocked several people that day. I also decided I should probably start looking for that cat I'm obviously destined to spend the rest of my life with. 

This online dating thing is still extremely new to me. I'm not even two weeks in. Imagine the tales this Cat Lady will have in a few more? 

And as always, I'll send you off with a virtual wink until next time...   ;)

x

Unlikely Cat Lady